


Deadpool's Fun

by faewm



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26715118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faewm/pseuds/faewm
Summary: Deadpool drops in on eleven-year old Harry with an offer. Ends in a cliffhanger. Adoptable.
Relationships: None
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	Deadpool's Fun

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was reading a HP/A crossover, Wolf at the Door by uoduck of ffn, which has absolutely nothing in common with this one-shot. I don’t know what triggered it, but here it is.  
> I also want to point out that I know jack all about the Marvel Universe. Only what I’ve read, and what my kids have discussed with me, when I ask questions about what I’m reading. So, there’s that. I know less about Deadpool, only that if I were a Marvel fan, he and Wolverine would be my favs.

Deadpool was just hanging around on the London Underground, literally. He had hooked himself in a dark corner by the door of the compartment. It was his desire to cause chaos. If not for the Avengers, or the X-men, then for his own amusement.

It took a great feat of cunning to get the Time Stone when no one would notice. He was sure the Stephen Strange knew, but he seemed to find it funny. It was like the guy with no sense of humor needed a break, but he, himself, was unable to do anything to relieve the tension that was building up.

So, Deadpool walked in the London Sanctuary, in the dead of night, and took the Eye of Agamotto. Well, he was only borrowing it. While it was neat to run around time and all, he didn’t want to kill his father on accident. That, of course lead him to 1941, where he, umm, appropriated… yeah, sure, appropriated the Super Soldier Serum.

So here he was, the Eye hidden in one of his many belt pouches, and serum within reach, hanging out in 1991 London. He was watching all the passengers come and go from the train. He was looking for something specific. His eyes widened under his mask when he spotted one of the largest men he had ever seen, bigger than the Hulk. But this guy, with his scraggly beard and his booming voice, put the Hulk to shame.

He seemed like a nice guy, more Bruce Banners personality in the Hulk’s body.

Next to the overly large man was a tiny boy. Just what Deadpool was looking for. Scraggly kid, clothes three sizes too big for him. Underweight by at least twenty-five pounds. Looks young for his age, given his grasp on the Queen’s English. So, either the kid was a genius, or he was short. Maybe both.

But what caught Deadpool’s attention was the taped together eyeglasses. That meant the kid wasn’t cared for, the clothes could be passed off as fashion. No, those glasses were a sign that he was neglected at best. That and the way the eyes darted around, like he was waiting for someone to come and ruin all his fun.

“Funny things, these muggles come up with,” the giant man was say as he looked around the compartment.

Deadpool had to wonder what was interesting to the large man. It all seemed normal to him.

“What’s a muggle?” the tiny scrawny boy asked, wrinkling his nose at the word. It sounded like something his uncle would say. That wasn’t a good thing.

“Non-magical,” the giant failed to whisper. With a voice that boomed across the whole train at normal volume, the whisper made everyone within ten feet look at the man strangely.

“Oh,” the kid said, still not liking the word.

This kid was what Deadpool was definitely what he hoping to find. He was scrawny, unkept, and looked like he needed something new in his life. Since, Deadpool knew nothing about magicals, damn paranoid group that, he wondered what would happen if he chose this kid. Obviously, the kid didn’t know anything about magic either. Hmmm, a wizard on the Serum, decisions, decisions.

Making up his mind, he decided to follow them.

The kid and the giant disappeared into a dark tavern. Since, Deadpool wanted to see what was what, he wandered in. The people sitting around gave him some queer looks, but for the most part ignored the costumed man. It was like it was normal to wear a formfitting body suit, complete with mask.

He did hear someone mumble, “Things muggles wear these days.”

“Huh,” was all he said, then quickly followed the giant, when all the well-wishers stopped harassing the kid. Thanks to them, though, he now knew that the boy’s name was Harry Potter. Hmm, might have to change that.

“What kind of Superhero goes by Harry?” he asked no one, looking to his right as if there were someone there.

Deadpool followed them into the magical alley, where he quickly snatched a robe off a passerby. Poor man didn’t even know how it happened. One minute he was clothed the next in his undies. While Deadpool was up on the roof before he was caught. He stalked his prey to a large white marble building. He wondered if it was a place to rob but held that thought at the advice of his little yellow box.

The two came out about a half an hour later, to which Deadpool had robbed over twenty people of their gold, because why not. A bored Deadpool is a naughty Deadpool, just ask Wolverine.

All through the day, he followed the kid and giant. When the giant left the kid to get himself home, he decided it was time.

“Hey, kid,” he said, when he dropped in front of the boy.

“Ahh,” Harry said, looking at the red and black clothed, masked man wearing a robe of baby blue. “Um,” was all he could say to what he was seeing.

“I’ve got an offer for you,” Deadpool said, leading the kid to the train station.

“My teacher told me to never take candy from a stranger,” Harry said, giving him the hairy eyeball. First magic, now some stranger is offering him something else. Could his birthday get any weirder?

“Good thing I’m not offering candy. Besides, the readers would kill me if I hurt you,” the masked man said, handing over the money for a train ride to wherever.

“Where are we going? I have to get home soon, or the Dursleys will flip,” the preteen said, tugging at the arm that the costumed man was holding.

“First off, I’ll make sure you get home when we’re done. Pinky promise. I’ll even ‘talk’ to your family. Right now, though, I’m going to make you a hero,” Deadpool said, dragging the not quite protesting child along.

“Like Captain America?” the boy asked eagerly.

“Just so,” was the answer.

“Neat,” Harry said, following along on his own accord. “Will I be able to beat up Uncle Vernon?” he asked, hope filling his eyes.

“Sure, why not. But, if you’re going to be a hero, you can’t go around bashing everyone who pisses you off. That’s what anti-hero’s do,” Deadpool said proudly, puffing out his chest.

“You should take that robe off,” Harry said, pointing at the light-colored robe. “It looks like you’re trying to hide or something,” he added when the man didn’t stop.

“Nay, the author says it looks cute. Something about contrast,” Deadpool said, waving the advice away.

“Um,” was all Harry said, trying to figure out what the hell the man was talking about.

“Don’t worry about it, kid,” the red and black clothed man said getting up to get off the train.

“Is this our stop?” Harry asked, hurrying after him.

“Um, yeah, sure, kid,” Wade answered, leading the way out of the station, down the street then into an alley. He led the kid far back in the alley and watched in amusement as the kid pulled his wand. Like he knew any spells. Still, had to give the kid credit for effort.

“How are you going to make me a hero here?” Harry asked, for the first time afraid he made a mistake. He usually was a good judge of character. This guy didn’t give off evil vibes, more mischievous.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you or anything. I’ve come from the future, and I wanted to give you a hand’s up on your destiny,” Deadpool said, going by what his yellow box was telling him. He didn’t want to lie to the child, but hey, chaos.

“What’s my destiny?” the wary kid asked, watching the man closely.

“Something about an evil git trying to kill you,” the bi-colored clothed man said, finally shucking the baby blue robe.

“American’s don’t say git,” Harry said, lifting an eyebrow. That was something he heard once on the telly.

“Why not? It’s an awesome word?” the affronted man asked, then reached into somewhere and pulled out a needle. He held it in front of him and said, “This is what’s going to turn you into a hero, like Captain America.”

“Really?” the awestruck boy asked, lowering his wand and moving forward to see the stuff that would let him beat up Uncle Vernon.

“Really and truly,” Deadpool said, reaching forward and jabbing the needle in the kid’s upper arm that was showing out of his far too big robes.

Harry’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he dropped like a stone.

Deadpool looked at the fourth wall and said, “Well, that worked.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, well, for now it’s a one-shot. If you want to take it further, go for it. If not, then one day I might do more research and come back to it. Please, review and let me know if I got Deadpool right. Just curious. If not, how can I make him better?


End file.
